Yesterday was an emotional roller coaster to me. Not only did I make one of the most important decisions in my life, I also witnessed a lot of ends.
Maybe I should start you off with some background information: the team that I belong to at my company consists of mainly 7 people. 3 planners, 2 of them being senior planners, and including myself, 4 analysts. Planners are like supervisors, they lead the team and to a certain extent, determine business plans; while we analysts execute them. And today it was announced that one of the planners that I really look up to had decided that this Friday is going to be his last day and that he will leave the company in which he worked for 9 months. It wasn’t groundbreaking news to be honest and I kind of saw it coming, but hey, departure is still a departure.
It was a sad day for us and for the team. Not only because he was leaving the team, but I sense that with his departure, a few of the other team members will follow suit. And it will only be a matter of weeks before the whole team will fall apart into pieces.
Sometimes, saying goodbye isn’t necessarily hard when the port of departure is a blessed land. But it is no doubt super depressing when the port of departure kind of sucks, while some other people are off to a better destination. In your mind, you’re like, “screw that!”. But honestly, you’re upset because you’re jealous; you’re angry because you didn’t have the guts to take the necessary actions to leave and move to a better place.
I’m lucky enough to have the opportunity or option to leave and start fresh, and I’m indeed very grateful for that (even though I’m scared to death about what this decision might bring in the future…). I can’t help but wonder, if I didn’t have the opportunity that I have right now, would I ever take the leap and bounce?
It takes a whole lot of courage to just unplug and exit.
You need to uproot, you need to readapt, and you need to readjust. And none of that is easy.
My planner had a goal in mind and he wanted to execute it. He had an action plan and he stuck with it. He saw a dead-end and made a quick decision. Ask yourself this: how many people around you are able to just leap and bounce? How many times have you said you were going to change something only to find yourself holding onto that bad habit a little bit longer? How many times have you told yourself that you would leave your terrible boyfriend and then realise that you’re just giving him more and more chances, thinking he would change the next time when he never will?
The more you procrastinate on change, the more you don’t want to change.
There is never a right time, and you’ll never be 100% ready. The only thing you can do is sieze the moment. Like my mom says, there will always be a better moment, but if that is something you have to do anyways, why wait any longer? If you missed this window, you will always wonder. And there will always be regrets.
I didn’t want to be stuck in a rut and I wanted to change my life. I wasn’t satisfied with what I was doing and I took action. It took me a while and I did struggle a bit, but in the end I came through and did it. I do have a goal that I want to achieve and I am working towards it. I can’t say that my goal is anything noble, but it is a way of life that I would like to see materialised. And if along the way, I am going to fall onto my head, get some scars and battle wounds, then so be it. I would gladly oblige and play the game.
I always believe that life has a way of self-correcting. The idea of choosing the wrong path is daunting, I agree, but the idea of not taking risks scares me even more.
So, by all means, let that fire within you burn like the summer sun.
(To you and to me)